Whatever jokes

    Failed merger:  Yahoo and Netscape. Net 'n Yahoo didn't work out because they would have to relocate the headquarters located in Tel Aviv.

    Proposed merger:   Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers, to be called Fairwell Honeychild.

    Rumored merger:   Wurlitzer with Xerox.  They are going to market reproductive organs.

    Possible merger:   Warner Brothers, Polygraph Records and Keebler -- to be called... Poly-Warner-Cracker.

    3M and Goodyear merger:   mmmGood

    John Deere and Abitibi-Price: Deere Abi

    Zippo Manufacturing, Audi, Dofasco and Dakota Mining: Dip Audi Do Da

    Swissair and Cheseborough-Ponds: Swisschese

    Honeywell, Imasco and Home Oil: Honey, I'm Home

    Luvs Diapers and Hertz Rent-a-Car: Luv Herts

    Upjohn and Chuckie Cheese Pizza: UpChuck

    White Castle Burgers and Glad Trash Bags: White Trash Bags

Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.

Her friend saw this and said, "Hey that's a good idea! But, what is that thing you put over your cigarette?"

The other old lady said, "It's a condom."

"A condom? Where do you get those?"

The lady with the cigarette told her friend that you could purchase condoms at the pharmacy. When the two old ladies arrived downtown, the old lady with all the
questions went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this old woman was interested in condoms, so he asked her, "What size do you want?"

The old lady thought for a minute and said, "One that will fit a Camel."

Those who have it would be devastated if it was ever cut off.

Those who have it think that those who don't are somehow inferior.

Those who don't have it may agree that it's neat, but think it's not worth the fuss that those who have it make about it.

Many of those who don't have it would like to try it, a phenomenon psychologists call "E-Mail Envy."

It's more fun when it's up, but this makes it hard to get any real work done.

In the distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information vital to the survival of the species.

Some people still think that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it mostly for fun.

If you don't take proper precautions, it can spread viruses.

If you use it too much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you into a lot of trouble.

If you play with it too much, you could go blind.