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the insomniac
How do you describe a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac?

It's a guy who sits up all night wondering if there is a dog or not.
foreign policy
There are three men in the bathroom, two Englishmen and an Australian. All are at the urinals.

The first Englishman zips up and walks over to the sink and uses a lot of soap and water and before he leaves. He says to the others, "In Yorkshire, I learned to be clean and neat."

The second Englishman zips up, walks over to the sink and uses much less soap and water but is still very clean. He says, "At Bredford Academy, I learned to be clean and neat but still be environmentally aware."

The third man zips up and heads straight to the door.

The Aussie says over his shoulder, "In Australia, we learn not to piss on our hands."

bah dum bump!
What do you call a person who likes to hang around with musicians?

A drummer.
wizard of oz
A man jumps off a building at the same time that another man pisses. Which hits the ground first?
The piss, because nobody beats the Wiz!

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