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uncle ted's special skill
 
 
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted.

Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!"

His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."

Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?"

Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!"

Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"

Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."

jew unit
 
 
Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tupac Shakur is a Jewish holiday.
a little boy wrote to santa ...
 
 
One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister."

Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother."

bombs away!
 
 
Q: Why was the suicide bomber disappointed when he met his 72 virgins?

A: He blew off his penis.

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