Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 294

Whatever


those lovely farmer's daughters
 
 
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, 'I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?'

"No," the farmer said.

The second beau came to the door and said, 'I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?'

"No."

The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. 'Hello, my name is Chuck.'

The farmer shot Chuck.

the homeless couple and the priest
 
 
This priest was driving to his church when he saw two people bending over in the grass. He decided to see why. He walked over to them and asked what they were doing. The man said they were homeless and grass was the only thing they could eat. The priest said, 'You can eat over at the church.' The woman said, 'We have nine children -- will there be enough?' 'Oh yes, ' the priest replied, 'the grass is 2 1/2 inches taller over there.'
programmer guffaws
 
 
How many programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, that's a hardware problem!
ham and sex
 
 
The priest and the rabbi were on a plane flying across the ocean when the plane developed engine trouble. Everyone was doomed. The priest turned to the rabbi and said, "Before I die there's something that I would like to know. You being Jewish and all -- have you ever tasted ham?"

"Well," the rabbi laughed, "sure I've tasted ham. But tell me father, before we die -- could you tell me if you have ever made love to a woman?"

The priest blushed and said, "There was this one time I gave in and made love to a woman."

The rabbi looked at the priest and said, "Beats the hell out of ham, don't it?"


Page 295 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»