Whatever jokes

1. The spouse who snores the loudest always falls asleep first.
2. The product you are most embarrassed to be buying must be price-checked over the P.A.
3. The heavier the load, and the farther you must carry it, the more your nose itches.
4. The original will be found when a replacement is bought.
5. When you have a deadline, the printer always runs out of toner.
6. When you have to get up early, the 'snooze' alarm is ten times longer than normal.
7. Technical instructions are in three languages: Spanish, French, and Geek.
8. Any Disney movie will be boycotted by some religious union with nothing better to do.
9. After typing a multi-page report, Windows will perform an 'illegal operation' and erase your work.
10. Traffic is only bad on days that end in 'y.'

Your bike!

Bob replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"

So James stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.

James went to see Bob again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"

Bob looked at James and asked, "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"

9. Never a silent night when you're among your Jewish loved ones

8. If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it

7. Betting Hanukkah gelt (the chocholate coins) on candle races

6. You can use your fireplace

5. Naked spin-the-dreidel games

4. Fun waxy buildup on the menorah

3. No awkward explanations of virgin birth

2. Cheer optional

1. No Irving Berlin songs