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y2k nostalgia
 
 
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were invited on the eve of the millennium to have dinner with God. After a little bit of small talk, God informed them that he would be destroying the earth the next day. Upon returning to earth, they each made announcemnts.

"I have two piece of bad news," said Boris Yeltsin. "One, God does exist. Two, all of the earth will be destroyed tomorrow."

"I have some good news and some bad news," said Bill Clinton. "First, the good -- God does exist. And the bad -- the earth will be destroyed tomorrow."

"I have some great news!" said Bill Gates. "One, I'm one of the three most important people on earth. Two, we've got this Y2K thing solved!"

tree shark
 
 
What has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it drops out of a tree, it'll kill you?

A pool table.

spliff joke
 
 
With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local emergency room and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions the patient's long-haired colleagues. 'So what was he doing then?' asks the physician. 'Acid? Cannabis?' 'Sort of,' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. 'But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.' 'And what was in that?' asks the doctor. 'Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.' says the hippie. 'There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.' 'Well, that explains it,' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. 'He is in a Korma.'
peanuts! getcher peanuts here!
 
 
Two peanuts were walking down the street.

One was assaulted.


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