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the three nuns
 
 
Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven. The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, 'Oh that's easy, Adam!' Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

The second nun is asked 'Who was the first woman on earth?' she says, 'That's easy, Eve!' Lights flash and the gates open.

The Third nun is asked, 'What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?' The nun is puzzled and can't figure it out, so she says, 'That's a hard one.' Lights flash up and the pearly gates open.
tennessee divorce
 
 
Q: What do a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common?

A: Someone is going to lose a trailer.
things just fallin' off
 
 
This morning as I was buttoning my shirt, a button fell off. After that, I picked up my briefcase, and the handle fell off. Then I went to open the door, and the doorknob fell off. I went to get into my car, and the door handle came off in my hand. Now I'm afraid to pee.
pothead shopper
 
 
This pothead walks into a store and says to the clerk, ' How much for that TV in the window?'
And the clerk says, ' I don't sell to potheads.'
So the pothead says, ' I'll come back in a week and be sober.'
A week later he comes back and walks up to the clerk, 'How much for the TV in the window?'
The clerk says, 'I told you I don't sell to potheads!'
Then the pothead says, 'I'll come back in another week and I will be sober.'
The pothead comes back another week later and says to the store clerk, 'How much for the TV in the window?'
The clerk says, 'I'm not going to tell you again. I don't sell to potheads.'
The pothead says, 'How do you know if I am?'
And the store clerk goes, 'Because that isn't a TV in the window. It's a microwave.'

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