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signs you're watching too much tv
 
 
  1. The bumper sticker on your car reads: "What Would Dawson Do?"
  2. In the middle of an exam, you tell the professor you want to use a lifeline.
  3. You need to be tranquilized when the cable goes out.
  4. In the late evening, you look forward to sitting back and catching the latest informercial.
  5. If you're a witness to an argument, you instinctually shout, "Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!"
  6. You try to impress the opposite sex by saying, "Hey, I get 120 channels!"
  7. Your entire CD collection consists of "Greatest Hits" albums by the decade.
  8. You have a gold-plated "clicker."
  9. Your intellectual discussions all stem from The Discovery Channel.
  10. After 15 minutes of work, you need a two-minute break.
how do you keep a moron busy?
 
 
How do you keep a moron busy?
Look below.
How do you keep a moron busy?
Look above.
potato in the pants
 
 
James was on the beach, and could not understand why Bob had attracted all the girls, while he had no luck. So he asked Rich "why do you get all the girls and I get nothing?"

Bob replied "take a potato and tuck it in your swimming trunks. It drives the women wild!"

So James stuffed a potato in his suit and paraded up and down the beach. Several hours later, he still had no woman.

James went to see Bob again and said "I've tried the potato and it doesn't work!"

Bob looked at James and asked, "have you tried putting the potato in the front?"

redneck recycling
 
 
Q: What do Rednecks call four empty Cool Whip containers on a table?

A: Salad bowls


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