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top ten woman bashing lines
  1. Why are there no female astronauts on the moon?
    'Cause it doesn't need cleaning yet.
  2. Why does the bride always wear white?
    Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.
  3. Why do women fake orgasms?
    Because they think men care.
  4. If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
    Made her chain too long.
  5. How do you annoy your girlfriend during sex?
    Phone her.
  6. How many men does it take to open a beer?
    None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.
  7. How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
    They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
  8. What are the three fastest means of communication?
    1) Internet 2) Telephone 3) Tell a woman
  9. What's the difference between your wife and your job?
    After 10 years the job still sucks.
  10. What should you give a woman who has everything?
    A man to show her how to work it.
dummy e-mail
How do you know if a dummy has been sending e-mail?

You see a buch of envelopes stuffed into the disk drive.
pokemon for adults
What do you get when you cross Pikachu with porn?


warning! incredibly harmful virus!

    If you receive an e-mail with a subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it.  This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet.

    It will re-write your hard drive.  Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.

    It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and milk curdles.

    It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, reprogram your ATM access code, screw up the tracking on  your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.

    It will give your ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.

    It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank. It will drink all your beer and leave its dirty socks on the coffee table when there's company coming over.

    It will hide your car keys when you are late for work and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.  Badtimes will make you fall in love with a hardened criminal.

    It will give you nightmares about circus midgets.

    It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine, all while dating your current boy/girlfriend behind your back and billing their dates and rendezvous to your Visa card. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease.

    It will leave the toilet seat up and leave the hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub it will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, and refill your skim milk with whole.

    It is insidious and subtle.  It is dangerous and terrifying to behold.

    It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve.  These are just a few signs.

Be very, very afraid.

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