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what do u do if a blond...
Q: What do u do if a blond throws a grenade at u?

A: Pick it up and take the pin out and throw it back at her

gay picnic
Q: How do you know you're at a gay picnic?

A: If the hotdogs have fudge on them

yo mama so fat...
Yo mama so fat, she stepped on the scale an it said one at a time
need for speed?
A motorcycle cop pulled over a Lamborghini Diablo after it had run a stop sign. "May I see your driver's license and registration please." "What's the problem, officer?" "You just ran that stop sign back there." "Oh come on, pal, there wasn't a car within miles of me." "Nevertheless sir, you are required to come to a complete stop, look both ways, and proceed with caution." "You gotta be kidding me!" "It's no joke, sir." "Look, I slowed down almost to a complete stop, saw no one within twenty miles, and proceeded with caution." "That's beside the point, sir. You are supposed come to a complete stop, and you didn't. Now if I may see your license andó" "You've got a lot of time on your hands, pal. What's the matter, all the doughnut shops closed?" "Sir, I'll overlook that last comment. Let me see your license and registration immediately." "I will, if you can tell me the difference between slowing down, and coming to a complete stop." The policeman had enough. "Sir, I can do better than that." He opened the car door, dragged the rude motorist out, and proceeded to methodically beat him over the head with his nightstick. "Now sir, would you like for me to slow down or come to a complete stop?"

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