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the pig with the wooden leg
 
 
There was a tourist on a farm and he asked the farmer why one pig had a wooden leg.

The farmer said, 'That pig is the bravest pig I ever saw.'

'So why does he have a wooden leg?' the tourist asked.

'Well one night our house caught on fire. And he came into our house and he woke us all up.'

'So,' the tourist asked again, 'why does that pig have a wooden leg?'

'Well, a pig that brave you can't eat all at once!'

cannibals clowning around
 
 
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One stops and says to the other:

'Does this taste funny to you?'

"hey, nice tie'
 
 
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
"Hey, nice tie!" comes out of nowhere. He looks up at the bartender to see if he had said anything, but since he was on the other side of the bar the man just ignores it.
"Hey! Nice shirt!" The man looks up but, again, the bartender is engaged elsewhere.
"Hey! Nice suit!" The man then calls the bartender over and asks him if he keeps talking to him.
"It's not me, it's the complimentary peanuts."
cold one
 
 
Q: What did one undertaker say to the other?

A: Toss me another cold one!

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