Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 284

Whatever


nasa, full of bright people
 
 
Three men were in a NASA conference room to decide how to spend $10 billion.
"I think we should put our men on Mars!" said the first man.
"Ooh, good idea," said the other two.
"I think we should put our men on Venus!" said the second man.
"Ooh, good idea," said the other two.
"I think we should put our men on the Sun!"
"How are you going to do that?"
"Easy. We go at night."
jumping rope
 
 
Two teenagers were walking through a park when they saw two rabbits getting it on, fast and furious.

"What are they doing?" asked the girl.

"They're jumping rope," said the boy. "Maybe I'll teach you how someday."

"I think I want you to teach me now," said the girl. So the two went behind some bushes and started getting it on. When the boy had his pants down, the girl asked what that was behind his "rope."

"That," said the boy, "that's my knot."

"Well," said the girl, "untie the knot and give me some more rope."

eye to eye
 
 
What did the right eye say to the left eye?

Just between you and me. Something smells.
wife's work on the sly
 
 
A man hails a taxi, and gets inside.

"5th and Main, please."

"You again?" says the taxi driver. "This is the 4th time I've dropped you and your wife off at work."

"Really? My wife doesn't work."

"Yes, she does. I drop her off there everyday, about an hour after I drive you to work."

"There?"

"Behind the Tillman & Lane department store."

"Interesting," says the man. "Tell you what. Pick me up in two hours, and I want you to show me where my wife works." So two hours later, the taxi arrives and takes the man to whorehouse behind Tillman & Lane.

"Hold on," said the driver. "I'll be right back."

There's a huge commotion after the driver goes in, with cursing and screaming and the sounds of breaking furniture. The driver comes out with a woman in a headlock.

"That's not my wife!" exclaims the man.

"I know. She's mine. I'm going back in for yours."


Page 285 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»