Whatever jokes

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dreams about growin' up
 
 
One day, three boys were talking about what they wanted to be when they grew up.

'I wanna be a singer so I can say 'Me, me, me, me, me.'

'I wanna be a chef so I can say knife and fork.'

'I wanna be a gambler so I can say you wanna make a bet.'

When they grew up they all got the jobs they wanted. One day, a policeman walked into a building and said,'Who killed this man?'

The singer said 'Me, me, me, me, me.'

'What did he kill him with?'

'Knife and fork,' said the chef.
'You're going to jail.'

'You wanna make a bet?' said the gambler.
a confused computer
 
 
A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it 'could not find the printer.' The user had even tried turning the computer screen to face the printer—but his computer still could not 'see' the printer.
big nostrils
 
 
Why do monsters have such big nostrils?

Because they have such big fingers.
cow abortion
 
 
What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?

De-calf-i-nated!!

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