Whatever jokes

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Whatever


stupid grandpa. don't you get it?
 
 
A grandpa walks into a grandson's apartment and sees a condom on the table. "What's this!?" demands the grandfather.

"It's a condom," replies the grandson sheepishly.

"What do you use it for?" asks Gramps.

The grandson is surprised that his grandpa really doesn't know what a condom is, and replies, "I use it to keep my cigarettes dry when I smoke in the rain."

To his surprise his grandpa says, "That's a great idea," and goes off to the drug store. He asks the pharmacist for a condom.

"What size would you like?" asks the pharmacist.

"Oh, big enough to fit a camel."

lightbulb... actors
 
 
How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

30 -- one to screw in the light bulb and 29 other actors to watch him and say, 'I could've done it better.'

e.t.'s eyes wide shut
 
 
Why are E.T.'s eyes so big?

Because he saw the phone bill!

pool for djs
 
 
Why can't DJ's play pool?

Because they always scratch!


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