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How come Britney Spears was not injured after she wrecked her $200,000 Ferrari?
Both her and the car have the dual air bags.
two blondes on thier way to disneyland
 
 
Two Blondes were in a car and came to a fork in a road and the sign said Disneyland left...
So they turned around and went home.
passing football
 
 
A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, "Hell yah, get a load of this!"

And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.

The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, "Hell yah!" and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning.

The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said, "But can you pass a football?"

The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, "Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!"

top 15: why hockey is better than sex
 
 
  1. It's legal to earn money playing hockey
  2. Many people play hockey even after they're married
  3. The puck's always hard
  4. The protective equipment is reusable
  5. It lasts at least an hour
  6. A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
  7. You always know how big the stick is
  8. You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
  9. You can change players on the fly
  10. You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
  11. Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
  12. Your parents cheer when you score
  13. Periods last only 20 minutes
  14. You're sure to get it at least twice a week
  15. You can tell your friends about it afterwards

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