He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their reactions help guide his decision. So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he didn't want to lose his job, but he understood the boss's situation.
Then he called in Mary, and said, 'Mary, I've got a problem; By the end of the day, I've got to lay you or Jack off...' And Mary says, 'Then you're gonna have to jack off, buster, I've got a headache!'
Three friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and your friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?"
The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."
The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and a schoolteacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."
The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say... LOOK, HE'S MOVING!"
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