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things you don't want to hear in an elevator
 
 
5. Does this look infected to you?
4. Would you believe these pants are reversible?
3. The acoustics in this elevator are perfect for yodeling.
2. I'm not just a Jehovah's Witness. I also sell insurance.
1. Just ignore Duke. We're going to have him fixed soon.
greed
 
 
There once was a man named Joe and he was talking to God and he asked, 'How much is a penny worth in heaven?'

God replied, 'One million dollars.'

Then Joe asked, 'How long is a minute in heaven?'

God said, 'One million years.'

So Joe asked for a penny and God said, 'Sure, just wait a minute.'

roses are red
 
 
Roses are red

Violets are blue

I'm schizophrenic

And so am I

mysterious death
 
 
There was this case in the hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Why the death? So the doctors decide to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil........ Just when the clock struck 11.... Scroll down for what happened... Santa Singh, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.

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