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ford cars -vs- golf balls
 
 
What's the difference between a Ford and a golf ball?

You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

take off my clothes
 
 
My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.

Then she told me to take off her skirt.

Then she told me not to wear her clothes anymore.
elevator shoes
 
 
What's yellow and goes up and down?

A banana in an elevator!
15 ways to be annoying
 
 
1) Spend all day at a fast food restaurant, seeing how long it will take until your free refills cost money.
2) If paged, wait until midnight to answer the call.
3) Construct an elaborate display of ropes in your backyard and tell your neighbors that you're a 'spider person.'
4) When attending a movie you've already seen, yell out: 'Don't let him in! He's the killer!'
5. When buying a goldfish at a pet store, ask the salesperson how often you should walk it.
6) When in a crowded elevator, say loudly: 'I hope I fixed it this time.'
7) Beep when a large person backs up.
8) Look around suspiciously in public and tell onlookers about the 'little men.'
9) Insist on making inanimate objects 'dance'
10) Occasionally talk into your hand in public.
11) Carry a duffel bag onto an elevator, wait until it's full, then ask if anyone knows how to disarm a bomb in less than 19 seconds.
12) When stopped at a traffic light during rush hour, claw desperately at the roof of the car.
13) Insist that someone accompany you to the public rest room because of Henry, the toilet monster.
14) While carpooling, make swervy turns while imitating crash noises.
15) Insist that life is 'one big musical,' then try to prove your theory by randomly breaking out into song in public.

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