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some examples of murphy's law
Murphy's Law: Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong.
  1. The spouse who snores the loudest always falls asleep first.
  2. The product you are most embarrassed to be buying must be price-checked over the P.A.
  3. The heavier the load, and the farther you must carry it, the more your nose itches.
  4. The original will be found when a replacement is bought.
  5. When you have a deadline, the printer always runs out of toner.
  6. When you have to get up early, the 'snooze' alarm is ten times longer than normal.
  7. Technical instructions are in three languages: Spanish, French, and Geek.
  8. Any Disney movie will be boycotted by some religious union with nothing better to do.
  9. After typing a multi-page report, Windows will perform an 'illegal operation' and erase your work.
  10. Traffic is only bad on days that end in 'y.'
Teacher: John, give me a sentence using the word, "geometry."

John: Okay, there once was this little acorn. Then it grew and grew and woke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'
y2k nostalgia
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates were invited on the eve of the millennium to have dinner with God. After a little bit of small talk, God informed them that he would be destroying the earth the next day. Upon returning to earth, they each made announcemnts.

"I have two piece of bad news," said Boris Yeltsin. "One, God does exist. Two, all of the earth will be destroyed tomorrow."

"I have some good news and some bad news," said Bill Clinton. "First, the good -- God does exist. And the bad -- the earth will be destroyed tomorrow."

"I have some great news!" said Bill Gates. "One, I'm one of the three most important people on earth. Two, we've got this Y2K thing solved!"

the trouble with dirty old men
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter.

The old man says, "I'm a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not (sob)."

The young jogger says, "Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed for in my life. What could be so wrong in your life that you are sitting here in the park crying?"

The old man says, "I can't remmber where I live."

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