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talking parrot
 
 
This hous wife got tired of being alone everyday since her husband was at work and her 3 daughters were in school, so she decided to get a pet to keep her company. She walks into the local pet store and tells him that she wants a talking parrot. The clerk tells her that they do have 1 talking parrot, but that she wouldn't like him.

'Why not? ' She asks.

'Well, he has been around a bit and has picked up some colorful language, and you did say that you have a family,' he replied.

'Well, my girls are old enough and they've heard it all. Just let me see him.'

The clerk finally agrees to show the lady the parrot and she insists on purchasing it right away. When she got home she covered the cage with a towel and went to get dinner ready for the family.

When she uncovered the cage, 'Brawkk!' said the parrot, looking around. 'New place. New Madam. Morning Madam.'

'Uh, morning parrot,' she said and then went to make breakfast. A few minutes later her daughters game down stairs, dressed and ready for school.

'Brawkk! New place. New Madam. New Girls. Morning Girls.'

'Morning Parrot,' they replied and went to help their mother get breakfast ready. Soon the man of the house came down unshaven and in his bathrobe.

'Brawkk! New place. New Madam. New Girls. Same old customers. Morning Phil!'

sumo kamikaze
 
 
Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building.
The Scot jumped off and shouted 'God save Scotland!'
The English man jumped off and shouted 'God Save England!'
The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted 'God save the person who I land on!'
oscar meyer
 
 
Q: How come Frankenstein couldn't have kids?

A: Because he had a hollow weenie!
best thing about iowa
 
 
What is the best thing coming out of Iowa?

Interstate 35!


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