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cold one
 
 
Q: What did one undertaker say to the other?

A: Toss me another cold one!
gotta hand it to you
 
 
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?

To get to the second hand shop.
top 10 ways to insult the elderly
 
 
1: You tell them that you went to the museum, saw dinosaur bones, and thought of them.

2: For their birthday, you offer to help them blow out the candles.

3: On their birthday, you tell the fire department that if they see a large fire, don't water it down, because soggy cake is no good.

4: Explain to them that the reason that no one can see the Christmas tree is because you put on every ornament that they got in their life.

5: Ask them if they got Columbus' autograph.

6: Tell them that the reason that they got no birthday gifts was that everyone had to pitch in to buy the candles.

7: Ask them if the Disney hit Hercules is telling the truth.

8: Ask them in what order God REALLY made the Earth.

9: Ask them if they helped God write the Bible.

10: Ask them if they personally knew Adam and Eve.
spaceman
 
 
What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man.

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