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- Did you get any under the tree?
- I think your balls are hanging too low.
- Check out Rudolph's honker!
- Santa's sack is really bulging.
- Lift up the skirt so I can get a whiff.
- Did you get a piece of the fruitcake?
- I love licking the end till it's really sharp and pointy.
- From here you can't tell if they're artificial or real.
- Can I interest you in some dark meat?
- To get it to stand up straight, try propping it against the wall.
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Early one morning, an angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I herby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire."
And with that command, the statues came to life, smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes.
The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?"
The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?"
Smiling, the female statue said, "Sure. But this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head."
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