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yo mama and her car
 
 
Yo mama so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
para-shoot
 
 
There were five people on a crashing air plane. Britney Spears, George W. Bush, Pavarotti, the Pope, and a boy scout. There were only four parachutes, not enough for the five important people on board, so they had to decide who would be left. President Bush said he should go first since he is the president of the greatest country in the world. So he jumps and lands safely. Then Pavarotti says that he has the greatest voice in the world so jumps and parachutes to safety. Britney Spears says she's a role model for young girls, a sex icon, and the smartest woman in the world so she jumps out. Then the Pope says to the little boy scout, "I am old and feeble and I don't have much longer to live...You must take the last parachute." The boy scout replies, "We can both take a parachute because the smartest woman in the world took my backpack."
cia test
 
 
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside of this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!!!" The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions, to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

heavy sack
 
 
Why is Santa's sack so big?

He only comes once a year.


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