Whatever jokes

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ready, aim...
A Vicar and his friend, Colin were playing golf.

Colin misses a 3 foot putt and yells, "Goddamn it, missed the bugger!" and the vicar says, "If you keep saying that then God will punish you."

Next hole Colin misses a 2 foot putt and says "Goddamn it, missed the bugger!" and the vicar says, "ONE more time Colin, and God will punish you!"

Then Colin misses a one foot putt and "GOD DAMN IT!!!MISSED THE BUGGER!"

Suddenly clouds form overhead. God comes down from Heaven and strikes the Vicar dead with a bolt of thunder.

God says, "Goddamn it! Missed the bugger!"

a bunch of saddam hussein's body doubles ...
A bunch of Saddam Hussein's body doubles were waiting in a lounge when they heard on the news that Saddam's palace had been bombed. One of Saddam's advisors called them and said he had good news and bad news.

The doubles said they wanted the good news first, so the advisor said that Saddam had survived the blast. The doubles were greatly relieved.

"Then what's the bad news?" they asked.

"Saddam lost one of his arms," the advisor replied.

what do you call a monket...
What do you call a monkey lost in a desert?


what's the difference between jesus and...
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

It only takes one nail to hang the picture.

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