GAGS FOR THE OFFICE DRONE - Whatever jokes

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GAGS FOR THE OFFICE DRONE
 

Run one lap around the office at top speed
  Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'no-player'must be in the   bathroom at the time)
  Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you
  Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say "Just called to   say I can't talk right now. Bye"
  To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
  When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,"Mmmmmmm,   that feels soooooo good!"
  Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really   prefer it this way"
  Walk sideways to the photocopier.
  While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

    THREE-POINT GAGS

 

Say to your boss, "I like your   style" and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers
  Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask "Did you get all that, I don't want   to have to repeat it"
  Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice)
  Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a   'non-player' within sight).
  Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

    FIVE POINT GAGS

 

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for   once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points   if you actually launch into it yourself).
  Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation,   turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
  For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'.
  Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two".
  After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamacian accent.
  As in, "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.
  While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
  In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut   up, damm it, all of you just shut up!"
  At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness, I'll never   go hungry again".
  In a colleagues diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".
  Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
  Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear   that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now"
  Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk  about   it"
  Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local   resturant. Let him go.
  Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference   call.
  Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
  Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely   surprised when someone points it out.
  Rollerblade around the floor throwing sweets