sick jokes jokes

Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a big head?

Don't worry. Take your cap and go get me 40 lbs of potatoes at the store.

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Mommy, Mommy! Why do other kids tell me I have a long nose?

You don't, but lift your head up or you'll scrape the floor.

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Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is how to learn to swim?

Shut up and get back in the sack!

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Mommy, Mommy! How come sister gets to watch TV and I can't?

Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too!

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Mommy, Mommy! Don't push me towards the elevator shAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!

Mommy, Mommy! I don't want hamburgers for supper!

Shut up or I'll grind your other hand.

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Mommy, Mommy! I hate tomato juice!

Shut up and drink it before it clots.

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Mommy, Mommy! What's a vampire?

Shut up and eat your soup before it clots.

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Mommy, Mommy! I don't like tomato soup!

Shut up, we only have it once a month.

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Mommy, Mommy! I hate spaghetti!

Shut up or I'll pull the veins out of your other arm.

Mommy, Mommy! Why do I have to hop everywhere?

Shut up or I'll chop off the other leg!

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Mommy, Mommy! Grandma's got a bruise.

Shut up and eat around it!

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Mommy, Mommy! What happened to all your scabs?

Shut up and eat your cornflakes!

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Mommy, Mommy! What's in those CARE packages they send to Africa?

Shut up and get back in the box!

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Mommy, Mommy! The teacher says I look like a monkey!

Shut up and comb your face!

Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the way to make ginger bread men?

Shut up and get back in the oven.

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Mommy, Mommy! Are you sure this is the right way to cook Peking Duck?

Shut up and close the microvawe oven door behind you!

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Mommy, Mommy! What's for dinner?

Shut up and get back in the oven!

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Mommy, Mommy! But I don't wanna eat pizza!

Shut up and get in the oven!

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Mommy, Mommy! What do you want with that ax....