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jesus and his father
 
 
One time in heaven Saint Peter said to Jesus, “I'm going on vacation and I want you to watch the pearly gates. Everybody who comes up, you ask the questions and you decide if will stay here in heaven.”
“Okay, Saint Peter, I will,” said Jesus.
Jesus was receiving everybody when, he spied a blind and very old man coming toward him. Jesus said to him, “tell me about your life.”
And the old man said, “I remember nothing about my life. The only thing I remember is that my son was very famous on the earth and I was a carpenter.”
Jesus thought, “A son very famous and he was a carpenter, he must be Joseph.” Jesus with his eyes full of tears said, “Father?”
The old man, touching the face of Jesus said, “Is that you Pinocchio?”
on the rooftop
 
 
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party?

He heard the drinks where on the house.

there was this lawyer who drove his shiny ...
 
 
There was this lawyer who drove his shiny new Lexus to work one day. He parked it right down in front of the firm where he worked to show it off to all his lawyer buddies. As he got out, this truck side-swiped the door and ripped it right off.

The driver stopped and ran to the lawyer saying "Are you alright, are you alright?"

The lawyer, now furious, started to scream and berate the driver. "What the hell do you think you are doing? This is my brand new Lexus...Ya know I am a lawyer and I am going to sue you for all you are worth!"

Then a policeman ran up to the scene and said to the lawyer, "Calm down! You lawyers are so materialistic it's disgusting! Don't you know, when that truck ripped your door off, it took your arm with it?"

The lawyer looked down and saw his left arm missing and said "Oh, God, . . . my ROLEX!"

yo mama
 
 
Yo Mama's so farsighted, she can't see the trees for the forest.

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