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What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?

Nacho Cheese!!!
elvis vs. jesus
  • JESUS is the Lord's shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybill Shepherd.
  • JESUS was a carpenter. ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop.
  • JESUS was part of the Trinity. ELVIS' very first band was a trio.
  • JESUS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.
  • JESUS is a Capricorn. (December 25) ELVIS is a Capricorn. (January 8)
  • JESUS was the lamb of God. ELVIS had mutton chop sideburns.
  • JESUS' Father is everywhere. ELVIS' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.
  • JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink."  (John 7:37) ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957)
  • JESUS fasted for 40 days and nights. ELVIS had irregular eating habits. (eg: 5 banana splits for breakfast)
  • JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone." ELVIS liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.
  • "[JESUS'] countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3)  ELVIS wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.
  • JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39) ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956)
  • JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25) ELVIS surfed on water.  (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965)
  • JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters. ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters.
  • JESUS had his famous Resurrection. ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special.
  • JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land. ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state.
think about it
What is the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has a soul full of hope, and the girl in the bathtub...

snoops's favorite weather
What's Snoop Dogg's favorite weather?


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