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barbie's christmas beau
 
 
A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it's her turn, she climbs up on Santa's lap. Santa asks, "What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?" The little girl replies, "I want a Barbie and a G.I. Joe."

Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, "I thought Barbie comes with Ken."

"No," said the little girl. "She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken."

how many hipsters does it take...
 
 
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: What? You don't know?
a girl named happy butt
 
 
It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt."

The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."

So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?" And the little girl said, "Happy Butt."

The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all. After getting off the phone he looked at the little girl and said, "Honey, your name's is Gladys, not Happy Butt."

The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass - Happy Butt... what's the difference?"

passing football
 
 
A jumbo-sized freshman went to try out for the football team. The coach asked him if he could tackle and he said, "Hell yah, get a load of this!"

And with that knocked over a telephone pole as if it were made of balsa wood.

The coach was dumbfounded and asked if the boy could run, to which the boy replied, "Hell yah!" and he sprinted from endzone to endzone like lightning.

The coach stood there with his mouth agape to see such a huge boy run so fast. He finally composed himself and said, "But can you pass a football?"

The freshman stopped to think for a few seconds, then said, "Hell yah, if I can swallow it, I can surely pass it!"


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