The boy went outside and said to the chicken, "I don't feel like feeding you today." So he kicked the chicken. He did the same with the cow and the pig. The boy then went back into the house and told his mother he was hungry. His mother said, "I saw you kick the chicken so you're not getting any eggs, I saw you kick the cow so you're not getting any milk and I saw kick the pig so you're not getting any bacon."
Just then the boy's father walked down the steps and tripped over and kicked the cat and the boy said, "Mom should I tell him?"
You learned to swim about the same time Jaws came out and still carry the emotional scars to this day.
You could sing "99 Red Balloons" in English and in German.
You're starting to believe that maybe having the kids go to school year-round wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.
You did the LeFreak with Chic.
"All-skate, change directions" means something to you.
In high school, you and all your friends discussed elaborate plans to get together again at the end of the century and play "1999" by Prince over and over again.
You wore anything Izod, especially collar "up," or the windbreakers that folded up into a pouch you could wear around your waist.
You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.
You even dressed to emulate a person you saw in either a Duran Duran, Madonna, Rick Springfield, or Cyndi Lauper video.
You actually know who Rick Springfield is.
You rode in the back of the station wagon and you faced the cars behind you in the "tail gunner" position.
Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you actually learned the English language.
You ever wanted to be gagged with a spoon.
You had a poster of Bo, Luke & Daisy Duke.
There was nothing to question about Bert n' Ernie living together.
Knickers and leg warmers were cool.
You ever wanted to learn to play "Stairway to Heaven" on the guitar and choreographed "Dancing Queen" by yourself in your room.
You were afraid of the Sleestaks on Land of the Lost.
The first time you ever kissed someone was at a dance during "Crazy for You" by Madonna.
You ever used the phrase "kiss mah grits" in conversation.
You had ringside seats for Luke and Laura's wedding.
You know who shot J.R.
This rings a bell: "...and my name, is Charlie. They work for me."
You ever had a Dorothy Hammill haircut.
You sat with your friends on a Friday night and dialed "867-5309" to see if Jenny would answer.
You owned a pair of Rainbow suspenders just like Mork used to wear.
You remember when your cable TV box had the three rows of numbers and you had to move the selector switch accordingly.
Two Words: Feathered hair
Your jaw would ache by the time you finished those "brick-sized" packages of Bazooka gum.
The phrase "Where's the beef?" still doubles you over with laughter.
10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.
9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.
7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"
6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."
5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to disco!."
4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.
3. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."
2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."
1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.
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