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gloves and panties
 
 
A man went to a gift store to buy his girlfriend a pair of gloves. He had the manager try them on. She said they were perfect, so he had the manager wrap them up. When the manager gave him the gift she accidently gave him a pair of panties instead. When the girlfriend got the gift there was a note attached to it.

The note read:

Dear Honey, Hope you like the gift.The lady at store said they were perfect. I had her try them on for me. She looked more like a lady. I hope you will wear them for me Friday night.

Love, Bobby

PS:The latest style is to wear them folded in with a little fur showing.
wash the cat
 
 
The doctor was walking around checking by his patients when he saw a man putting a cat into the washing machine then said to the man, 'Are you crazy? The cat's going to die!' The man said, 'Don't you worry about her Doc, I wash this cat everyday.' So the doctor shook his head and kept on walking, but ten minutes later the doctor came back and the cat was dead! So he said to the man angrily, 'Didn't I tell you you'd kill the cat?' The man said, 'Doc, the cat didn't die because I washed her, the cat died because I ironed her.'
what do vampires sing on new year's eve?
 
 
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Fang Syne!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

knock, knock... madame
 
 
Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Madame.

Madame who?

Madame foot will be up your ass, if you don't open this door!

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