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satan claus
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.

One said to the other, 'I'm really scared about all this Satan stuff?'

The other boy replied, 'Don't worry! You know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad again."

psychology co-ed
Have you heard about the blonde psychology major working her way through college as a prostitute?

For fifty bucks, she'll screw with your mind!

the dentist
There once was this Vietnam vet who still occasionally had very vivid flasbacks. The man worked as a dentist and one day, he was doing a normal check-up, when a flashback hit him. He went crazy and repeatedly stabbed the patient. Needless to say, he was fired and needed another job.
The vet tried to think of places that wouldn't ask too many questions, so he walked down to the local McDonald's and applied for a position. They hired him and the first few weeks went well. But one day he was cooking a cheeseburger when another flashback hit him and he stabbed the hamburger into pulp. One of his co-workers turned and asked him with one question: “Are you a dentist?”
things you don't want to hear in an elevator
5. Does this look infected to you?
4. Would you believe these pants are reversible?
3. The acoustics in this elevator are perfect for yodeling.
2. I'm not just a Jehovah's Witness. I also sell insurance.
1. Just ignore Duke. We're going to have him fixed soon.

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