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the doctor
This guy is suffering from extereme abdominal pain so he goes to the doctor.
The doctor says that the problem is serious, but with medicated rectal inserts the problem should go away. After the inital insertion, the Doctor explains that the second should be inserted before bed.

That night, before he goes to bed, the man attempts to insert the medicine.
After about 15 unsuccessful tries he calls his wife for help. His wife puts one hand on his shoulder and inserts the medicine. He lets out a scream. 'Did I hurt you?' his wife asks.

"No, but when I was at the doctor's, he had TWO hands on my shoulders!'

wooden shoe
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Wooden shoe.
Wooden shoe, who?
Wooden shoe like to know!
bottom of the ocean
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shakes?

A nervous wreck!
silly boy
A little kid walks into a movie theater one day. At the counter, he buys one ticket and then goes in. All of a sudden, he comes back out and buys another one. The man at the counter asks 'Why do you want another one?' The kid replies 'Because that man over there ripped the other one!'

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