Whatever jokes

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dishwasher
 
 
What do you do when your dishwasher stops?

Kick him in the ass!
laughing washing machine
 
 
Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out of the pants.
dictaphone
 
 
A secretary goes into her boss' office and asks, "May I use your dictaphone?"

He replies, "No. Use your finger like everyone else."

10 ways to tell you're from new hampshire
 
 
10) You married your cousin's brother's wife
9) Your only belief is “Live Free or Die.”
8) You think Massachusetts should be Taxachusetts (when you are actually paying more).
7) You walk around with cow dung on your shoe.
6) You're depressed because Massachusetts laughs constantly at your state.
5) Your music involves knee slapping, spoon smacking and banjo playing.
4) You travel all the way to Connecticut to gamble.
3) Your barn is bigger than your house
2) You walk around with a “Dumb IQ” card (you actually do).
1) You can't drive on the highways, rotaries, four-way stops, rotaries or anything more complex than a dirt road.

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