Whatever jokes

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what did the hat say to the tie?
 
 
What did the hat say to the tie?

"You hang around here...I'll go on a head."

doe a deer
 
 
What did the bow-legged doe say?

Thats the last time I will do that for ten bucks.

10 ways to tell you're from new hampshire
 
 
10) You married your cousin's brother's wife
9) Your only belief is “Live Free or Die.”
8) You think Massachusetts should be Taxachusetts (when you are actually paying more).
7) You walk around with cow dung on your shoe.
6) You're depressed because Massachusetts laughs constantly at your state.
5) Your music involves knee slapping, spoon smacking and banjo playing.
4) You travel all the way to Connecticut to gamble.
3) Your barn is bigger than your house
2) You walk around with a “Dumb IQ” card (you actually do).
1) You can't drive on the highways, rotaries, four-way stops, rotaries or anything more complex than a dirt road.
assembly required
 
 
A gynecologist tired of his profession, and wanting less responsibility, decided a career change was in order. After some serious thought, he decided that being an engine mechanic, something he had once enjoyed prior to college, would be a good choice. However, it had been a long time since he had tinkered with an engine and he knew that in order to compete with the younger workforce, he would have to go to school.

He enrolled in a technical institute that specialized in teaching auto mechanics. He aced the course, but the final exam required each student to completely strip and reassemble an engine. It was with some trepidation that he took the test. At completion, he turned the engine over to his instructors for evaluation and awaited his final grade.

When they were handed out, he did a double take at the 150% grade he received. Rather confused, he asked his instructors how it was possible to have a grade like this. "It is really quite simple," they said. "We gave you 50% for correctly disassembling the engine, 50% for correctly reassembling it, and an additional 50% for doing it all through the muffler."


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