Whatever jokes

So, the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After awhile, they've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day, God calls Satan up on the telephone and says with a sneer, "So, how's it going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great. We've got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next."

God replies, "What??? You've got an engineer? That's a mistake -- he should never have gotten down there; send him up here."

Satan says, "No way. I like having an engineer on the staff, and I'm keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"

"Well," replied the man "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"

The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though: She gave me $20 change!'

'Well, when I was interviewing Eduard Shevardnadze, I asked him, 'Eduard, who is the son of your father but not your brother?'

'What did he say?' Bush asked.

'He said, 'that's me,' so I hired him.'

Bush patted Gorbachev on the shoulder. 'Thanks, Mikhail. That's a great idea.' As soon as he got back to Washington, Bush called Dan Quayle over to the White House.

'Dan,' he said, 'I've got a question for you. Who is the son of your father but not your brother?'

Quayle looked rather puzzled. 'Can I get back to you on that in 24 hours, Mr. President?' He was very troubled by this question. He kept thinking about it and thinking about it, but couldn't get anywhere. Finally, the thought struck him, 'I'll ask Jim Baker. He's a smart guy.' Quayle called Baker on the phone.

'Jim, I've got a question for you. Who is the son of your father, but not your brother?'

'That would be me,' Baker replied. Quayle broke into a big smile.

'Thanks, Jim. You've helped me out big time.' He went running to the West Wing and burst into the Oval Office. 'Mr. President, I have the answer!'

'Okay, Dan. Who is the son of your father, but not your brother?'

'It's Jim Baker!' said Quayle.

'No,' said Bush. 'It's Shevardnadze.'