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spitfire
 
 
What's black and white, black and brown, and black and black?

A nun roasting on a spit.

list of short books
 
 

1) A Guide to Arab Democracies
2) A Journey through the Mind of Dennis Rodman
3) Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean
4) Career Opportunities for History Majors
5) Contraception by Pope John Paul II
6) Detroit - A Travel Guide
7) Different Ways to Spell "Bob"
8) Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
9) Easy UNIX
10) Bulgarian Tips on World Dominance
11) Everything Men Know About Women
12) French Hospitality
13) Bob Dole: The Wild Years
14) How to Sustain a Musical Career by Art Garfunkel
15) Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
17) Spotted Owl Recipes by the EPA
18) Popular Lawyers
19) Staple Your Way to Success
20) The Amish Phone Book

the butcher's wife
 
 
How did the butcher introduce his wife?

“Meat Patty.”
how to urn bennys
 
 
There was a man named Benny who loved to take walks on the beach. One day he found a bottle with a genie in it. He let the genie out.
The genie was so grateful that he granted him one wish with the condition that he never shave again, otherwise he'd turn him into an urn.
Benny got his wish of riches and fame but he kept tripping over his long beard which he hadn't shaved in 30 years. Benny said to himself, “that genie isn't around anymore, I'm shaving.” With that, he went home and shaved. Instantly he went 'POOF' and turned into an urn.
Moral to the story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urn-ed.

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