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you smarthole
What do you call a smart hole in the wall?

A wisecrack!
krazy library fun
1. See how many teenage boys you can gather by exclaiming,'Wow, they carry Playboy?!'
2. Make copies of every page in the Dictionary and if anyone asks for a reason, tell them you are a vacuum salesman
3. Make sheep noises by the reference desk
4. Let the librarian know that you are 'only in it for the money,' then smile at them
5. Arrange the magazines by their sex content
6. Give the librarian a list of Hungarian Books to find
7. Ask someone if they've ever read 'My Life as a Butt-Hair Stylist'
8. Scream
9. Set up a dome tent in the kids section and announce that the General has arrived
10. Constantly stare at someone using the internet and when they look at you, ask them if they would like Book Insurance
oh, god, help me find a safe house
There was a young man whose parents beat him all the time, so he went to his next-door neighbor for help.
"What about your grandparent's house?"
"They beat me too."
"What about your aunt and uncle's?"
"They beat me too."
"Well, where do you think you should live?"
"With the Oakland Raiders. They never beat anyone."
the tomato seller!
A man from another country came to the U.S. and learned three phrases.
1.Only fifty cents
2. Very, very fresh
3. Not today, maybe tomorrow.

A lady came to his tomato stand and said 'how much are these tomatos?' The man said 'Only fifty cents'. Than she asked 'are they fresh?' The man said 'Very, very fresh'. She then asked, 'Can I buy one?' The man said, 'Not today maybe tomorrow.'

A thief comes and said 'I'm a thief how much money do you have?' The Tomato Seller said, 'Only fifty cents'. The thief said, 'Are you being fresh with me?' The Tomato seller said 'Very, very fresh'. The thief said 'Alright, that's it. I'm going to shoot you.' The Tomato Seller said 'Not today maybe tomorrow!"

The moral to this story is: If you go to a foreign country, learn as much of the language as possible!'

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