Whatever jokes

So deaf people can enjoy them, too.

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
and the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
and the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
then the socket packet pocket has an error to report.

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
and the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
and your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
then your situation's hopeless and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
but your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
that's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,
and your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
so your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,
'cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM
Quicky turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

1. you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2. you sleep with your eyes open.
3. you have to watch videos in fast-foward.
4. the only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
5. you can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without the timer.
6. you've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
7. your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
8. you chew on other people's fingernails.
9. the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
10. you can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
11. you can jump-start your car without cables.
12. you don't sweat, you percolate.
13. you walk twenty miles on your tread mill before you realize it's not plugged in.
14. you forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
15. you've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
16. instant coffee takes too long.
17. you channel surf faster without a remote.
18. you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
19. you short out motion detectors.
20. you don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
21. you help your dog chase its tail.
22. you soak your dentures in coffee.
23. your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee and an IV hook-up.
24. you get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
25. you answer the door before people knock.