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The guy says, "Oh, I got in a fight with my girlfriend and I called her a two-bit whore."
"Yeah?" asks the bartender. "What did she do?"
"She hit me with her bag of quarters!".
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Hercules says, "I think I'm the strongest man in the world but it hasn't been proven yet."
Snow White says "I think I'm the fairest lady in the land but it hasn't been proven yet."
Quasie says "I think I'm the ugliest, meanest son of a gun in the world but it hasn't been proven yet."
The next day Hercules and Snow White are sitting at the table.
Hercules says, "It's true I'm the strongest man in the world for God told me so."
Snow White says, "It's true I'm the fairest lady in the land for God told me so."
Just then, Quasi started walking up the road really steamed.
He says, "Guys can you do me a favor? Tell me who the heck is Janet Reno?"
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