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'It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?'
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* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.
* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young ape's human pet is a peach-colored dress.
* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.
* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo."
* Kris Kristofferson's surly acting style is a result of the neverending pain of "Millenium"'s failure at the box office.
* The imagery of the Ape army's red tents taken straight from biblical writings dealing with how women were separated from the tribe during their periods. (Charlton Heston's idea.)
* Helena Bonham Carter's clothing came under-budget through some seamstress' creativity and Rue McClanahan's wardrobe. Her wildly trendy haircut however, accounted for %15 of the film's budget.
* According to ape acting union, the "Ape" Lincoln Memorial had to be scrubbed down with monkey feces in order to get rid of foul human odor.
Submitted by: David J. Bleecker
E-mail: DBLEEKER@nyc.rr.com
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"It's fine," says the old man. "I just get up and go to the bathroom, and God turns on the light for me."
The doctor finishes up the examination, and then calls in the daughter to tell her about the God-light thing.
"Oh, my God!" says the daughter. "He's been using the fridge again!"
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They set up on the square of a small village. Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord, and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn't able to catch his friend, but he notices he has a few cuts and scratches.
Bob falls again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Jeff misses him. The third time it happens, Bob comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Jeff finally catches him and says, "Holy cow, what happened? Was the cord too long?"
Bob looks confused and says, "No, the cord was fine... but what the heck is a pinata?"
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