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it's sohotta in the sahara
 
 
There were these 3 criminals who had just robbed a bank in Egypt. They were caught, convicted, and sentenced to exile in the Sahara Desert and they could each take only one thing. When they met in the desert they each were telling what they had brought.
"I brought a loaf of bread, so when I get hungry, I'll have something to eat," said the first criminal.
"I brought a water skin, so that when I get thirsty, I'll have something to drink," said the second.
"I brought a car door, so that when it gets hot I can roll down the window."
constipated accountant
 
 
Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget so he had to work it out with a pencil and paper.

two of these things belong together
 
 
What's the odd one out? 1) A lobster 2) a whale 3) a guy that's been hit by a bus?

The whale -- the other two are both crustaceans.

helen keller driving
 
 
Why can't Helen Keller drive?

Because she's a woman.

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