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peanuts! getcher peanuts here!
 
 
Two peanuts were walking down the street.

One was assaulted.

multi-purpose
 
 
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow?

Give her a shovel.

a seismologist, a meteorologist, and a fireman...
 
 
A seismologist, a meteorologist, and a fireman were P.O.W.s to a group of terrorists.

Before the day of their scheduled execution, they all agreed on escaping by shouting out something really loud to hopefully scare them off.

The next day the first one to be pulled was the seismologist. The terrorists put him next to a tree and aimed ther guns at his head. The leader said, "Any last words?"

The seismologist replied with a loud shout, "Earthquake!"

The terrorists got scared and ran, so the seismologist escaped.

The terrorists and grabbed the meteorologist. They put him next to a tree with guns pointed at his head. The leader said, "Any last words?"

The meteorologist replied,"Tornado!"

The terrorists got scared and ran away, so the meteorologist escaped.

The terrorists came back and went on to the last, the fireman. They put him next to the tree and pointed guns at his head. The leader said, "Any last words?"

The fireman replied, "Fire!"

So they shot him and he died.

first class
 
 
A blonde was headed to Detroit. She got on the plane and sat down in first class.
A few minutes later, a flight attendent came up to her and told her that her ticket was for coach and she had to move from the seat. She refused. The flight attendent was persistant, but the blonde replied, "No, I want to sit here, I've always wanted to see what it is like in first class."

The flight attendent was getting frustrated. Finally, after quite some time, she convinced her to move.

Another passenger who overheard the conversation asked the attendent, "How did you get her to move?"

The flight attendent replied, "I told her that first class doesn't stop in Detroit."


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