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redneck recycling
 
 
Q: What do Rednecks call four empty Cool Whip containers on a table?

A: Salad bowls

wake up, stand up
 
 
A woman wakes up one morning and open the blinds. Her husband, half-awake, says, "Close those blinds, those little boys over the road can see my naked body." The woman replies, "If those little boys saw your naked body, they'd close their blinds".
redneck christmas shopping
 
 
You know you're a redneck when...

you go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend and only come back with one gift.

the three nuns
 
 
Three nuns die, but they all have to answer one question to get into heaven. The first nun is asked who the first man on earth was. She replies, 'Oh that's easy, Adam!' Lights flash and the pearly gates open.

The second nun is asked 'Who was the first woman on earth?' she says, 'That's easy, Eve!' Lights flash and the gates open.

The Third nun is asked, 'What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?' The nun is puzzled and can't figure it out, so she says, 'That's a hard one.' Lights flash up and the pearly gates open.

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