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wood i?
 
 
These two friends are about to go to a club. One of them has a wooden eye. He said 'If someone says something about my eye, i'm gonna snap.' They get there, and he asks a girl to dance. She says, 'Would I?'
10 ways to tell you're from new hampshire
 
 
10) You married your cousin's brother's wife
9) Your only belief is “Live Free or Die.”
8) You think Massachusetts should be Taxachusetts (when you are actually paying more).
7) You walk around with cow dung on your shoe.
6) You're depressed because Massachusetts laughs constantly at your state.
5) Your music involves knee slapping, spoon smacking and banjo playing.
4) You travel all the way to Connecticut to gamble.
3) Your barn is bigger than your house
2) You walk around with a “Dumb IQ” card (you actually do).
1) You can't drive on the highways, rotaries, four-way stops, rotaries or anything more complex than a dirt road.
railroad thunder
 
 
A railroad worker was cuting the grass away from the edge of the line as a train was coming in his direction. He droped all his tools and ran down the line as fast as he could. The next thing he knew, he was waking up in a hospital. A policeman asked him why didn't you just run up the grassy hill to saftey, “What chance did I have of out running up the hill if I couldn't outrun it on level ground?”
jack be nimble
 
 
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack jumped over a candlestick.
But Jack wasn't so nimble,
And Jack tripped,
Now Jack's stuck in bed with a burnt...

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