Whatever jokes

Jokes » whatever » jokes 447

Whatever


the firing squad
 
 
A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely.

The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none. The General in charge of his execution asked him, 'Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?'

The man thought for a moment, then said, 'Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?'

The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.

'Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...'

dem bones a' rattle
 
 
Why did the skeleton Burp?
Cause it didn't have the Guts to fart!!!!
ghetto shopping
 
 
You know you're ghetto when you carry food stamps in a money clip!
the offspring
 
 
A birch and a beech tree grow up side by side in the forest. One day, a sapling grows between them, and each swears that it's not their son. The beech thinks it's a son-of-a-birch, and the birch thinks it's a son-of-a-beech. To settle it, they enlist the help of a woodpecker, who checks it out.

"You are both wrong," he says when he comes back up. "That's the best piece of ash I've ever had my pecker in."


Page 448 of 497     «« Previous | Next »»