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how many hipsters does it take...
Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: What? You don't know?
a girl named happy butt
It was this little girl's first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, "Happy Butt."

The teacher said, "Honey I don't think that's your name you need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."

So she went to the principal's office and he asked, "What's your name?" And the little girl said, "Happy Butt."

The principal called the girl's mother to get this straightened out once and for all. After getting off the phone he looked at the little girl and said, "Honey, your name's is Gladys, not Happy Butt."

The girl then exclaimed, "Glad Ass - Happy Butt... what's the difference?"

top 15: why hockey is better than sex
  1. It's legal to earn money playing hockey
  2. Many people play hockey even after they're married
  3. The puck's always hard
  4. The protective equipment is reusable
  5. It lasts at least an hour
  6. A two-on-one or a three-on-one is not uncommon
  7. You always know how big the stick is
  8. You can clean your stick in public without anyone minding
  9. You can change players on the fly
  10. You don't have to be embarrassed if you don't get the puck up
  11. Everyone is finished when the buzzer sounds
  12. Your parents cheer when you score
  13. Periods last only 20 minutes
  14. You're sure to get it at least twice a week
  15. You can tell your friends about it afterwards
the potty wisdom of confucious
Confucious say, 'It's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on!'

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