Whatever jokes

He heard the drinks where on the house.

An old man on a Mo-ped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to him. The old man looks over at the sleek, shiny car and asks, "What kind of car ya' got there sonny?"

The young man replies, "A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars"

"That's a lot of money," says the old man. "Why does it cost so much?"

"Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the young man proudly.

The old man asks, "Mind if I take a look inside?"

"No problem," replies the owner. So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.

Then, sitting back on his Mo-ped, the old man says, "That's a pretty nice car, all right, but I'll stick with my Mo-ped!"

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 160 mph. Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer! He slows down to see what it could be. Suddenly something whips by him going much faster!

"What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari?" the young man asks himself. He floors the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph. Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Mo-ped! Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 275 mph. He's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph. Not ten seconds later, he sees the Mo-ped bearing down on him again! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do.

Suddenly, the Mo-ped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end. The young man stops and jumps out and to see, unbelievably the old man is still alive. He runs up to the mangled old man and says, "Oh My God! Is there anything I can do for you?"

The old man whispers, "Unhook...my...suspenders...from...your...side-view...mirror".

The clerk haughtily replied in the negative, so she left the store and proceeded to another department store where she is rebuffed in much the same manner. After a third try at another department store in the mall, she had become disgusted. Leaving the mall, she drove to K-Mart.

Marching up to the sales clerk, she unbuttoned and threw open her blouse, yelling, "Do you have anything for this?"

The lady looked closely at her and replied, "Have you tried Clearasil?"