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best way of skipping out on a check
 
 
Bring a sock puppet with you to the restaurant. When asked for your order, consult the sock and talk to the sock throughout the meal. When you get the check, order with the sock about who should pay. Then say, “Fine! You pay,” throw the sock on the table and walk out.
gone with the schwinn
 
 
What do a bicycle, chicken, and frog have in common?
They all have handlebars! Except for the frog and chicken.
knock, knock... phyllis
 
 
Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Phyllis!

Phyllis who?

Phyllis a glass of water!
the gassy skeleton
 
 
A human skeleton was going to fart in a crowded place.

Unfortunately it had no guts.

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