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confucious say...people who can count
Confucious say, 'There are three kinds of people in the world. Those who can count. And those who can't.'
beans & onions: delicious
What do you get when you mix beans and onions?

Tear gas!

the mushroom
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties?

'Cause he's a fungi!
top 10 ways to insult the elderly
1: You tell them that you went to the museum, saw dinosaur bones, and thought of them.

2: For their birthday, you offer to help them blow out the candles.

3: On their birthday, you tell the fire department that if they see a large fire, don't water it down, because soggy cake is no good.

4: Explain to them that the reason that no one can see the Christmas tree is because you put on every ornament that they got in their life.

5: Ask them if they got Columbus' autograph.

6: Tell them that the reason that they got no birthday gifts was that everyone had to pitch in to buy the candles.

7: Ask them if the Disney hit Hercules is telling the truth.

8: Ask them in what order God REALLY made the Earth.

9: Ask them if they helped God write the Bible.

10: Ask them if they personally knew Adam and Eve.

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