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holy water
 
 
Three men go to a church and ask to be forgiven for their sins. The priest asks the first man what he did. The man replies, "I robbed a bank. " The 2nd man tells the priest he killed a man. The priest says that is really bad and to go drink the holy water and he will be forgiven. The third man starts to laugh, so the priest asks him, "And what sin have you committed?" The third man replies, "I pissed in the holy water"
two eggs
 
 
Two eggs are in a frying pan and one says "Man it's hot in here." The other one says "Holy sh*t a talking egg!"
80-pounder
 
 
Did you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles? People say he was half-nuts!
reaching the end of a job...
 
 

    Reaching the end of a job interview, the human resources person asked a young engineer fresh out of MIT what kind of a salary he was looking for.

    "In the neighborhood of $140,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

   "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years...say, a red Corvette?"

   "Wow! Are you kidding?"

   "Yeah, but you started it."


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