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survivor for alabamans
 
 
With the overwhelming response to the CBS hit "Survivor", Alabamans have made their own version.

Contestants are given pink car to drive from Dothan, to Birmingham, on to Decatur, and back to Dothan. On each car is a bumper sticker that says, "I'm gay, I'm a yankee, and I'm here to steal your guns!" First one back wins.

four catholic mothers
 
 
Four old Catholic women are sitting around bragging about their sons. The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic mother says "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'."

Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women turn to her and say, "Well...?"

So she replies, "My son is 6' 2, terribly handsome with broad, square shoulders... good manners, dresses very well. He's got a tight, muscular body and tight, hard buns and a very nice bulge. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, 'Oh, my God!'"

drunken donut ii: the return
 
 
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"
knock, knock... wayne
 
 
Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Wayne.

Wayne who?

Wayne drops keep falling on my head...

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