'Well, I came top of the class in Math, I made a touchdown in football, and I had sex with the teacher.'
'What! How dare you! Get into your room and wait till your father gets home!' Little DJ goes to his room, and when his father comes home, DJ's mom tells his father, 'I'm absolutely disgusted with DJ. He said he came top of the class in Math, made a touchdown in football, and had sex with the teacher!'
'That's my boy' thinks his Dad. So he goes upstairs to talk to DJ. 'Don't worry about your Mom. She's a bit upset, but it sounds to me like you had an awesome day at school. In fact, I'm so pleased, you know that bicycle I said I was going to buy you for Christmas, I think I'll get it for you this weekend.'
'Oh no, Dad, don't. I don't think I'll be able to sit down for a while.'
Contestants are given pink car to drive from Dothan, to Birmingham, on to Decatur, and back to Dothan. On each car is a bumper sticker that says, "I'm gay, I'm a yankee, and I'm here to steal your guns!" First one back wins.
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