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blonde fish
 
 
If a blonde could be any fish, what fish would she be?

A blowfish
ferry boy
 
 
Every morning a man drives to the dock, and every morning the man takes the ferry to work. One morning, he wakes up, and has no electricity. He has no idea what time it is, but assumes he's late since he has a tendency to sleep late anyway. So he slams down some breakfast, hauls ass to the dock, sees the ferry ten feet from the dock, and takes a running leap. He barely makes it, skidding across the deck of the boat, and hurting himself quite badly.
"You know," said the captain, "in another minute we would have docked."
salesman: a new one, really
 
 
A travelling salesman's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. He gets out and tries to find something close by -- and comes upon a farm. Not believing his luck, he knocks on the door, and a farmer answers.

"Sir," says the salesman. "Could you help me? My car's broken down, and I need a place to stay for the night."

"Sure," says the farmer. "But I only have one bed, and my very, very ugly daughter sleeps there."

"Oh, crap," says the salesman. "I'm in the wrong joke."

big nostrils
 
 
Why do monsters have such big nostrils?

Because they have such big fingers.

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