Whatever jokes

One day a hunter was walking through the woods and spotted an Indian Chief being chased by a grizzly bear. So the hunter pulled out his trusty rifle and shot the bear, saving the Indian Chief's life.

The Chief invited the hunter back to his camp to throw him one heck of a bash for saving his life. There was plenty of food. Indians were dancing all over the place with happiness. They were smoking the peace pipe when the Indian Chief said to the hunter, "I have a very special surprise for you. I've picked 500 of my prettiest Indian maidens. You look at all of them and chose one, she will be your wife."

With this, the Indian Chief clapped his hands and out of several teepees emerged young beautiful Indian maidens. They walked in front of the hunter so he could get a better view of them. The hunter noticed that all of the maidens were topless. And with closer inspection, noticed that none had any nipples on their breasts.

'Why don't any of his maidens have nipples on their breasts?'

'What, you've never heard of the Indian Nipple-less 500?'

The first nun says "I want to be Bo Derek," and POOF she's gone.

The second says "I want to be Madonna," and POOF she's gone.

The third says "I want to be Virginia Pepalini.".

St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says.

"Virginia Pepalini" replies the nun.

St Peter shakes his head and says "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell.

The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing.

He hands it back to her and says "No Sister, this says the Virginia Pipeline was laid by 500 men in 7 days!".

"Well," he said, 'I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's 'the' night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying with his head down for several minutes after everyone starts eating.

The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Stiff joints!