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social security
An old man went to the social security office to sign up.
He had stood in the line for a very long time until it was finally his turn. The lady behind the counter ask him for identification. He went to get his wallet out of his back pocket and relized he had left it at home. The lady told him that was alright he could just show her his chest hairs and if they were grey she knew he was old enough for social security.

After everything was done there he went home and told his wife how his day went. He told her that he had forgotten his wallet at home and the lady at the social security office just ask him to pull down the front of his shirt and she could tell he was old enough.

After listening to his story his wife told him if he had dropped his pants he probably could have gotten disability too.

vandal scandal
Somebody recent vandalised the local nudist camp. They put a hole in the wall, and the police are currently looking into it.
penny for your thoughts
What does one penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents!
heavy sack
Q: Why is Santa's sack so big?

A: He only comes once a year.

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